Can I be "Body Posi" while I'm trying to lose weight?

Is it possible to be body positive when you're actively trying to lose weight?

Naturally, it feels as though those two things are polar opposites, which would make you think they aren't able to coincide with each other. Stripping it down, body positivity focuses on loving and accepting your body the way it is, regardless of its flaws or societal pressures, whereas trying to lose weight through dieting is an active decision to change your body, arguably making it fit in with society's standard of beauty.

This apparent clash between these concepts has left me feeling like a bit of a... well, fraud recently.

For probably the hundredth time (sigh) I've re-downloaded MyFitnessPal. If you aren't familiar with the app, it's an app that allows you to work out the required calories you need per day in order to reach your goal weight, whether that is to gain, maintain or lose. I've also been told specifically how many grams of protein, carbs and fat I should be eating per day. It sounds very controlled, and I suppose that's because it is.

Come my first weigh day, one week in to the diet, I had lost 5lbs! The target had been 1lb per week, but this massive drop in number made me so inexplicably happy. Soon after this feeling of happiness though came the horrific feeling of guilt.

I have always described myself as "body positive". I have slagged of societal beauty standards more times than I would like to count. Yet, here I was, giddy with excitement at decreasing numbers on the scales.

I began turning to blogs and articles, desperately googling the question "Am I body positive if I'm on a diet?" and, unfortunately, there were mixed responses. Ultimately, the main question these articles threw back at me was this: are you doing it out of a place of self-love and care for your health, or are you trying to mimic conventional beauty standards? The answer to that question was hard to find.

I am average-size. There is no health-based reason for me to lose weight: my stamina is decent, my body strength is fine, my BMI is fine. So, perhaps dieting is more of a vanity project for me. But, when I reflected on the week I had, the meals I ate required more conscious effort to make than my usual cheese toasties, pasta bakes and pot noodles, which made them more enjoyable to eat. I hadn't felt like I had been on a diet, really. I wasn't looking at food feeling as though I was missing out and I wasn't by any means hungry. Despite being on a calorie limit, I still managed to have a few treats during the week - a couple of Celebration chocolates, a Belgian waffle - these I enjoyed even more than I usually would have.

One of the key features of body positivity is understanding your worth isn't defined by your body's shape or size, which I know I wholeheartedly resonate with. If I maintain or gain weight I know I'm worth the same as what I'd be worth if I lost weight. I know my worth can't be measured by scales or tape measures and my diet comes from a place of love, not punishment.

To answer the question: Can you be body positive while wanting to lose weight? I think you can. I feel I am still as body positive as ever, even if some people do find it hypocritical. I love what my body was, what it is and what it will be. It's okay for me to make different choices for my body, as long as they're made out of love. I don't see why I can't be both body positive and dieting.

Emily x

@emilyhardinggg