What This Decade Has Taught Me

2020 is finally here. The start of a new decade made me reflect on the past 10 years as a whole and reminded me of the lessons I learned along the way. I thought I'd share the 5 key lessons I learned with you all.

1. Judgement gets you nowhere.

It's so easy to make snapshot judgements of people you don't know, and even easier to compare the behaviours of the people we do know to our own circumstances. It's almost normal to think "Well if that was me. . ." but it's so important to remember that what isn't necessarily right for one person may be perfect for the other. While it's easy to contextualise things in to your own circumstances, people are individual and have their own, unique set of circumstances. Judgement is toxic and builds up barriers between people. Try to withhold on judgment and you'll find it so much easier to connect with others.

2. Sometimes people are no longer part of our lives, and that's OK.

People can leave our lives for so many reasons; whether it's a gradual disconnection, a big blow-out row or something in between. It happens. It can be so hard to understand and process, and the urge to repair the damage and chase after relationships can be so strong. But, sometimes, these people leave our lives for a reason. It's OK to mourn the loss of any kind of relationship, but it's important to remember it is actually OK for people to no longer be in our lives.

3. You don't have to be good at something to enjoy it.

So much pressure is put on us from such an early age to excel at things that I think we've almost lost the ability to do things for the sake of enjoyment instead of reward or success. Remember you are not a comodity. Do things because you enjoy doing them, not because you want to do well at them. Likewise, don't stop doing things you enjoy just because you think you're not good at them.

4. Talk to strangers.

The past few years has taught me this. Despite all the stranger-danger talks I was given in lower school, talking to strangers has been nowhere near as horrific as I thought it would be. Some of the best friends I've made have been made through reaching out and talking to people who I didn't know. Some of the best memories I have include me rambling on (mostly drunk) to strangers and it being reciprocated (again, mostly drunk). And a lot of my Instagram support comes from babes I haven't met (yet).

5. Date yourself.

This is the most important thing I've learned this past decade. Self-love is the best kind of love, hands down (😉). When my self-confidence started to climb back up after hitting rock bottom, I learned that I actually loved my own company. I like watching films, going out for dinner, doing activities. . .by myself. Having the confidence to do things by myself would have been something I laughed at 10 year ago. Now? I do it all the time. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my friends, boyfriend or family, but I also love doing things just for me, on my own. Make time for yourself and love yourself. If you don't love yourself, how can you expect anybody else to?

Other lessons:

- When coming home drunk, force yourself to drink a glass of water before bed. Hungover you will thank Drunk you. Also, take water to bed.

- Stop leaving revision until the day before an exam.

- No more acrylic nails. Fingers look like chubby sausages when they're removed. Tears follow.

Emily x

@emilyhardinggg